As I prepare for our year abroad, I’m asking myself what I hope to gain from this experience. Sounds like an easy one, right? Almost not worth asking really. But Jose asked me this a couple of months ago and it got me thinking… a lot.
It’s not like we are going on a vacation. It’s easy to understand the allure of vacation: no agenda outside of relaxation and enjoyment. A couple of weeks of that and you’re going to feel great. We spent a week in Maui a few years ago and I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to keep feeling the way Maui made me feel: relaxed and content. But it wasn’t Maui. Put me behind my desk in Maui and I suspect I’d feel just the same as I do in San Francisco – stressed and unfulfilled.
When we move to Europe, we won’t be on vacation. So how is this going to be better than home? In fact, how is it not going to be worse? Thinking about moving has reminded me that my happiness comes from my relationships with the people I love. That’s pretty much it. Without those people, everything is hollow.
Looking for answers, I can’t help but reflect on my childhood. As a child, my family moved constantly. I was a shy kid and re-establishing myself in a new school was often very uncomfortable for me. I’d sit at the edge of the playground, reading a book, trying to get a handle on who these kids were and how I fit in. Sometimes it would take a couple of months to really develop friendships with anyone. I remember a lot of my birthdays (in October) passing unnoticed and friendless.
But of course, I was never truly friendless. I had my family. Being thrust into a new environment together did bring us closer. To this day, my parents are two of my very best friends.
And, eventually, I learned to speak up, make myself known, find common ground, and to unabashedly reach out to new people – all skills that I may have never picked up otherwise.
In spite of all the stress of moving from town to town and school to school, I’d have to say that it ultimately benefited me. And, although I never would have chosen that lifestyle as a kid, I am choosing it now.
Starting from scratch in a new place isn’t easy, but it also creates an opportunity for growth and reinvention that I won’t be wasting. I’ve got a whole string of goals that I would like to accomplish during my year abroad:
Deepen my bond with my husband.
In our day to day life, it’s easy to take each other for granted and get side-tracked by all of the outside demands on our time. Although we’ve been together for almost a decade, we’re still relative newlyweds, just married a year and a half now. I’d like to see what life is like with just the two of us relying on each other.
Realizing a long-cherish dream.
Making dreams come true feels so good! Every time I accomplish something seemingly impossible, it proves to me that I can do anything.
Embrace a new lifestyle.
I want to slow the pace of my life down, reduce my consumerism, eat out less often, be less afraid of risk and savor the present. I need a fresh perspective.
Lure my friends and family to Europe.
For me, travelling with friends is as good as it gets. Every time I visit a new place, there are a string of people in my mind that I would love to share the experience with. For a whole year, I’m going to be seeing old friends in new places and it’s going to be beyond delightful.
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